Why worry when you can pay

I was taking a look at my unpaid bills today from 3 credit card companies. A total of over P75,000. I don't know how I managed to rack up such a huge amount that my paycheck cannot cover. What I cannot understand is I didn't spend for anything expensive nor catered to my whims, but there they were, with the due dates glaring at me demanding I pay up or else....

With a baby coming in 2 months and another insurance payment of P75,000 looming near, I am really worried. I don't have much savings in the bank, barely even enough to pay for one of the credit card bill.

It began when the business I am running hasn't had a sale since the past few months and the capital is slowly being depleted by the bills and the overhead. Not long ago, I had to transfer some funds from another account to supplement the account I use to pay my overhead. Just to help the company save money, I decided not to get my salary for the meantime while I worry where to get funds for the next payroll. I am working on some promising deals that would hopefully bring me some temporary relief.

Just as I got into the shower to get ready to work while worrying about the unpaid bills, I resolved I would not let my family down. I would not let this failure to pay conquer me. Failure for me at this point is not an option. I had this strong sense of responsibility for provision that not being able to is a source of shame to me, and to my ego.

God gave me a wife who is godly. She asked me if I did my devotion this morning. I said I hadn't yet, so I went to my Bible to read. I didn't know where to start because i haven't been following a reading plan, and I have been a bad boy for not having a quiet time with my Father for quite sometime.

As i flipped open the bible, a sticker with a telephone clipart that read, "GOD ANSWERS PRAYER" "Dial Jeremiah 33:3". I quickly flipped to Jeremiah 33:3, and it read "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." That itself is a great relief, but most assuring is the verse before it that read: "This is what the Lord says, Hewho made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it - the Lord is His name."

It was such an assurance I had such a big God that I can count on, a Father who is the Great I am behind me. All the worries I have did not seem to be as big as what perceived it to be. Issues that have sprung are not insurmountable anymore. The hardest lesson for me to learn is to hand the reins of the company and my finances to Him who is the Great Provider. But I know He will be gentle and patient with me as I take little steps to grow in faith in Him.